More Lamenting about Music

Yeah, I'm not impressed with my generation. Maybe I'm a music snob, and certainly I'm less of a snob than some people I know, but I was raised on really good music by my parents, and I like to think that I have a fairly good taste. But when I see the top 10 songs on iTunes, my heart sinks sometimes, and this week is particularly brutal, filled with samey synth dance things with all the wit and depth of a spoonful of Nyquil--even the one song I do like, which is in the number 3 spot, is electronically enhanced in a weird, bubble-gum sort of way. Ever the positive person that I am, rather than collapse inward in grief over the massive silliness of the 21st century, I like to pretend I could sit these people down and provide them with awesome alternatives to their mass-produced cotton candy fluff. So, here are some of the iTunes top 10 as of November 13, and what I'd recommend instead.

#3: "Fireflies", by Owl City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw
Okay, I admit, I do love this song. It reminds me of something Ben Gibbard, the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie, might have done in high school, and the music video is beyond adorable. I shall let this one pass my ire, but put it up because it gets my Awesome Music Video Of the Week award.

#4: "Sexy Bitch (Feat. Akon)", by David Guetta
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcLLrwMYTiE
*sobs* I hate this song. It doesn't even sound any sort of good; it just sounds like noise. I had some patience for Guetta's "When Love Takes Over", the few times I heard it, because it at least was not horrifically offensive to the ear. Why do people buy this, and where's the amazing E they're clearly dropping which makes it such a religious experience to listen to?
Instead... Throw on 3OH!3's "Don't Trust Me". Not only is it awesome because they're from Colorado (shout out to my homies in Ft Collins, woot!), but they're unapologetically weird and, I think, totally aware of how silly they're being--the video totally proves that. Self-aware stupidity, friends. It's why Judd Apatow swims in a big pile of money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-L8FRW72qo

#8: "Whatcha Say", by Jason DeRulo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKEiYLG2rs
This one makes me particularly sad, because it dares to sample (read: destroy) a bit from one of my favourite artists, Imogen Heap, who knows how to make electronically-enhanced music actually sound like it has a soul. Here, our delightful Jason creates a fairly standard "girl, when I'm famous we're gonna be BALLIN'" song, interspersed with the aforementioned sampling of Heap's "Hide and Seek" (a song that has, tragically, become a bit of a meme due to misuse on one Fox prime-time soap, but in and of itself is quite stunning). The girls (if they are human, it's possible they're computer voices) singing the chorus sound especially snarky, as if they hate the song, hate Jason, and hate themselves for being his bitches. Frankly, I don't blame them. He sounds like my old nemisis, Karl Wolf. Because they all sound the same.
Instead... Check out "Bad Body Double", by Imogen Heap herself. Probably one of my favourite tracks off of her new album, it's got a fantastic beat, it's quite cheeky, and immensely more clever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR_heGRfwe0

So, basically:
=/=

The math makes sense, people. Math doesn't lie.

#9: "Party in the USA", by Miley Cyrus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA
Now, I am known neither for my partying ways, nor for my status as a US Resident, but......bleugh. Just, bleugh. This is bland, croaky, and just silly. Butterflies? Seriously? This girl should not be as famous as she is. Art should be about the provocative, the thing that makes you think even as you enjoy the hell out of it. Miley Cyrus is the opposite of think. She is the antithink.
Instead... To you, tweens, I offer, simply, Beethoven's 7th Symphony, one of my favourite pieces of music and something intelligent and dark and absolutely stunning. So basically like nothing you've ever heard before (zing!). Here ya go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdfNTO_o-3k

That's basically all I've got to say about that. Something needs to change, people. Seriously.